It is the end of a year. Many people these days are thinking about their resolutions, where they are in time, what they have accomplished, where they want to go, how can they get there. What actions do they need to take in order to achieve their dreams!
Beautiful thoughts! It is always nice to think about the future and make plans.
Plans without actions, though, are just thoughts.
As 2016 is exiting and we are getting ready to welcome 2017, I wanted to offer you a gift. I wanted to show my gratitude for your dedication and support in our work at The Los Angeles Method. Then I thought about the saying with the man and the fish.
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for the day. Teach a man how to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime.
In the post below you will read about ways in which you can coach yourself, about ways you can empower yourself to find your way, to find the way. At the end of the post you will find links and resources so you can continue learning and understanding.
Some of the techniques that follow are techniques I use with my participants in The Los Angeles Method Workshops and private sessions. Techniques you can use for a lifetime and return to every time you need support and empowerment. My participants and myself have seen great results. I wish the same for you too.
Remember, Action is required for results to manifest.
Read the information and when you are ready, at your own pace, put it into action.
Coaching, as Acting, is about LISTENING. There is a misconception that it is about directing people or telling them what to do. In my experience the best way to help someone is to allow them to BE SEEN and BE HEARD.
An important element to having successful conversations is to listen.
There are six types of conversations:
- Discussion and Debate
- Coaching Conversation
Use these types when you have conversations with yourself, examining what it is that you want. These are the types of conversations coaches have with their clients. These are some of the ways I use in The Los Angeles Method with my participants.
A few words about each;
Sharing is when you communicate the essence of who you are. Try to speak deeply and authentically about where you are in the present moment. Reveal an authentic and personal experience, "get things off your chest" and make space for new ones. This way you can become present to what you want Now.
If you were in a coaching session, debriefing would be the part where you talked about the Who, What, When, How. This way you can learn from the recent history, forgive mistakes, celebrate successes, set goals.
Clearing is what we usually calling venting. It is a pure, emotional release of feelings. You do not have to tackle all feelings at once. Focus on a single event and your emotional response to it.
Discussion and Debate should be the most familiar one to you, as it is the basic form of conversation most of us use in everyday life. This is when we express our views and opinions. David Bohm, an American scientist who has contributed an orthodox ideas to quantum physics, neuropsychology and philosophy of mind, has expressed a very interesting theory on contrasting Dialogue with Discussion. Discussion for Bohm contains a sense of beating against something. Dialogue on the other hand allows for silences, intuition, a flow that is deeper, listening. Socrates' method also was about discussion and debate but with the purpose of deeper thinking about man and her or his situation.
Teaching is also pretty clear. It is about sharing information the other person did not know. Education is key here. Examine and search for clues.
Finally there is the Coaching Conversation; use this type of conversation when you want to understand what you want from your future and how you can obtain it. Remember that it is not about advice. It is about exploring, problem solving, creativity, options, imagination, generation new actions.
Now that you understand the ways to communicate, I would like to introduce to you- or remind you if you are already familiar with- to the Seven Skills for Empowering.
Empowering can be one of your best resources. If you want to achieve success it is very important to be able to feel worthy and capable and Enough.
If you feel undervalued, not Enough, insignificant, if you have doubts, think of this:
1. Focus on Strengths.
2. Acknowledge and Endorse
3. Stand For
5. Perspective Taking
6. Never make yourself feel wrong
7. Possibility Thinking
You should be able to recognise, articulate and embrace your strengths.
Explore how you can use your strengths. What new behaviours and skills can you learn? Support yourself in making peace with your weaknesses, we all have them. Everything in this dimension that we live in, comes in pairs. In order for us to understand the notion of left, we have right. To understand the notion of up, we have down. To understand strengths, we need to have weaknesses. The key is your Focus. Where do you focus on? If you focus on right, you will go right. If you focus on up, you will go up. If you focus on strengths, strengths will grow and dominate the reality you are experiencing.
Stand for your desires. Be an advocate for what you want. Do not excuse yourself or feel guilty for wanting! You deserve the best things in life! The only thing you have to do to receive them, is first to turn your fears into Faith, meaning that you first must believe that you deserve them. Stand up and claim what is already yours!
Change the story if something is not working out for you, if it is not empowering for you, reframe it! Change the words, change the setting, change the light, change the sound! You write, direct and star in the movie that is your life. If something is not working out for you, yell "Plot Twist" and write another scene.
Offer yourself unconditional positive regard. In fact give yourself unconditional love and appreciation for everything that you do. Look at yourself in the mirror and see that young girl or young boy who still lives inside of you. Have you forgotten about them? They are there, waiting for you to visit and play with them and make up dreams and goals and conquer the world. If you had a child, if you do not already, would you yell at them for trying things out and failing? No, you would take time and find patience through love, to show them what is the right way to do something and succeed. Show that same love, patience and attention to yourself.
These are seven ways you can use to empower yourself. Once you have master these on you, you can implement them on your relationships with others. But first you need to empower yourself. If you do not stand strong on your own two feet, you will not be able to help or empower anyone else. Or at least, not for long.
You know what they say in the airplane before take off. "In case of an emergency, put on the oxygen mask, first on yourself and then on anyone else who might need help." If you can not "breathe" how can you help anyone?
Putting yourself first does not mean pushing others down. There is enough abundance in the Universe for all of us! Putting yourself first means you show yourself the respect she or e deserves. You show yourself the love she or he deserves.
You educate people on how to treat you by the way you treat yourself.
I wish that this blog post was helpful and useful.
If you have questions, or you need support in something, please do not hesitate to leave a comment or contact me directly. I would be very happy to serve.
Happy New Year to all!
Wishing you many Victories in 2017! Discover the Artist within you and go create the life you want and deserve to Lead!
Sending love and light,
- Read more about David Bohm.
- Read more on Carl Rogers
- If you are interested in Socrates and how you can use Ancient Greek Philosophy and teachings to achieve your goals and overcome obstacles, click on the link below to check out our Metamorphosis Program.